I don't rightly know if I'll git a chance to git here agin fore Christmas, but I couldn't go away fer a couple a days without leavin y'all with some news stories. This here news story done says folks at a grocery store was confuzed when sandwiches started singin to 'em. Seems some company thought singin sandwiches was a good ideal. I don't know bout y'all, but when I gots enuff money to go down to the Piggly Wiggly fer sandwiches, I don't care if they can sing. I just want 'em to taste good. Speakin a sandwiches, this man up to Kentucky thought he was eatin a cheeseburger at a restraunt, but someone put a dead bat on that there burger. Kinda reminds me a that movin pitchure show with Sylvester Stallion, Wesley Snips and Sandy Buttocks. Y'all remember when Sylvester Stallion ate hisself a rat burger? He liked it good enuff, so I reckon bat wouldn't taste that much differnt. Anyhow, this next news story is specially fer Festus Joe. I done read that a midget hurt hisself when he fell off a suitcase he was standin on on account a he couldn't reach the lightswitch in his hotel bathroom. But he must be a strong little feller. He went to work that night bein one a the Seven Dwarfs in a play. But his bosses wouldn't let him work. They done said he should rest. I'm glad someone's lookin out fer that there midget.
I a in't in no way affilitated
with no one by the name a trailer_park_honey. She's a liar and a thief.
That don't mean I'm sayin nuthin bad bout this here lady who's a right fine singer.
