I reckon y'all are thinkin we just up and moved out the trailer park. Well, I'm tellin' y'all we's still here and I gots an explanashun bout why we ain't been here to our ramblin's in more 'an a coon's age.
In case some a y'all was thinkin we got blowed away in one a them there hurricanes, let me put yer minds at ease. We must live in the luckiest trailer park in all a Louisiana on account a none a the trailers here got moved or nothin.
Be that as it may, I gots some bad news bout Bosephus. Them hurricanes didn't hit the trailer park but they up and picked up all the trash from down to the dump and, well, there just ain't no dump here no more. We tried talkin Bosephus into gettin on the welfare like ol' Festus Joe done did but he weren't havin none a that. He done said he likes digging round in the dump and findin treasures he likes to clean up and sell to old, rich women as ant-teeks. So, he done moved bout 50 miles from here, closer to a nother dump. On account a he don't have one a these here computin contraptions in his own trailer, he can't get to these here ramblin's.
Bubba J and Thelma Jo ain't been able to git to these here ramblin's on account a they been buzy takin care a Festus Jr., Jeb the Stutterin Boy, the Little Missionary Girl and, a course, Cletus T. Course Cletus T. don't take much carin for on account a bein like one a them boy in the plastic bubble kids, ceptin he ain't gonna git no bigger.
Anyhow, they been takin care a all the kids on a account a me and Festus Joe been out on the road with Little King and his Tour fer the Troops. At first we thought just Festus Joe could go and I could stay here to the trailer park but, with Festus Joe never knowin when he's gonna be down in his back, we done thought it would be best if I was on the tour too. We gots us a break fer a week so I'm usin it to catch ya'll up on what's goin on down here to the trailer park. The break will be good fer Festus Joe too. He can give them eyes a his a rest after them been so googly over Ann-Margaret and Joey Heatherton. They's takin turns bein on tour with Little King.
Well, I gots to go now but we'll be back soon. The Tour fer the Troops ends soon. But we might be back fore then on account a Ann-Margaret done said she was thinkin bout gettin us a contraption called a laptop or some such thing that we can take with us on tour. That Ann-Margaret is a right fine lady. No wonder Elvis was sweet on her.
posted by Bertha
on 4:21 AM |
I a in't in no way affilitated
with no one by the name a trailer_park_honey. She's a liar and a thief.
That don't mean I'm sayin nuthin bad bout this here lady who's a right fine singer.